Weakly Treatment

No kidding. I got one of those face packs to energize, or clarify, or whatever my skin (they throw words at us that make us think we'll be magically transformed into younger, fresher, more vibrant - see? There I go doing it too - women). Here's a snippet of the instructions on the back (feel free to imagine a younger, fresher, more vibrant version of me, standing naked in the bathroom save for a puffy mint green spa headband, face smeared in exfoliating scrub, camera in hand... hot, right?):

Okay, it's not that easy to read, but fill in the blanks and skip to the end of the English bit. Quenching bath... blah blah blah... circular motions.... blah blah blah... to perfect your complexion... blah blah blah.... WEAKLY TREATMENT?!?

Well! They might have saved me the effort and put that first. I could have saved myself the $3. I struggled with the grammar at first, but I guess it's like saying "sickly child". (No, really I'm not that dumb. What I did first was realize it's a typo. THEN I got into playing with the grammar.)

What this is, is an unintentional bit of wisdom. We're all fools for the promise of perfection. I'm thinking about pitching a new, more "honest" system of labelling to spa/beauty product companies. The instructions will go something like this:

Rub this on your face. It smells good. Rinse off. You will continue to age.